The Life Process

Was having dinner with some friends last Friday. As usual, chats revolved around work and slowly moved on to future plans and partners. A Friend, lets call her A, has been persuaded by her parents to get married. Apparently, her Dad decided to have a talk with her boyfriend and highlighted that “its time”. Her boyfriend at age 24, was stumped. He wasn’t ready as we were told, but seem to accede. Not that he’s unwilling to, but just that he’s not ready. The couple have been together for almost a year. In which to many, it’s a little soon for marriage. At least for me, I very much feel so.

Friend B and Me, “Wow. So soon?!”.

“Well, He’s very nice to me. And I don’t want to give birth only at the age of 35 ok!” (She is now 27)

“But do you really love him?” B and I asked at the same time.

A: “What to do? I can’t have the one I love most.”
She had a long term relationship which was not accepted by the Ex’s family for reasons I feel, are not really valid in this generation.

Sad isn’t it? It makes me wonder what marriage is really based on. Love? Obviously not in the above situation. Is this a life process that we MUST fill in? Thinking back, if I were to fill in the life process which I set maybe 8 to 10 years ago, I would be married this year too. I’ll have 2 children (a boy & a girl) at 30, own a house, a car and holding a managerial post. Haha… But some of it seemed so distant now. To put it bluntly across, Marriage is not even in my mind now, not to talk about having children as well. Poor Mum & Dad…. LOL. Think I’ll leave this glorious task to Jess. So whose fault is this? Society? Cos my mentality and feelings are definitely “re-mould” by the experiences, environment and situations I have gone through and seen. Childhood - > Education - > Career - > Love - > Marriage - > Children - > Grandchildren - > Death. Who set the rule that life should be lived in this formula? Is this the only formula to life or success? Most importantly, Is this the formula to happiness?

I am pretty sure I can never be like Friend A. I can’t marry someone who isn’t the one I love most at that point of time. People always say, “It’s better to be with someone who loves you more.” If love is being measured, is that love? I always believe that the best thing in life, is to wake up next to the person you love most. It’s the first and last thing you would want to see every morning and before you head to bed. It creates this never dying *Spark* in you, and you would look forward to everyday. I guess some will think I’m crazy or naive. But well, it’s exactly what I feel Love should be. Marriage should be based on Love, because that’s one thing that will last and sustain against all odds. Of course its never gonna ba a smooth sailing process and I’m not saying it’s a never dying love or that the love will definitely last forever, but at least at that very moment. You will feel you’re the most fortunate human being in the world. I often tell my friends, “It’s not forever till both of you lie in the coffin still in love with each other.” Come to think of it, precisely because “forever” is so hard to attain, shouldn’t we cherish whatever we have now even more before it slips away?

So where will life lead me? Hmm… I wonder… But I can tell you now, I’m desperately looking for love. *As Always* Haha… *Sparkle* in life! Where are youuuuuuuu???????????

By the way, I realised. Friend A didn’t answer our question. I guess the answer is obvious….