I would say its the day you left me Bret. You left me for good on Monday morning. You clinged on for 4 days and you finally have to go. I know you held on for me and I thank you for that. You took it like a man and didn't make a single cry from the torture. For 3 nights I stayed by your limp body crying, knowing that you're gonna leave me but at the same time I was hoping you could stay. The family was with you when you left but it was too much for all to take. Its all too much for ME to take. The struggle you made during the last mins of your life is deeply imprinted in my head. It was such pain at the moment that I begged and screamed for you to just go. I blamed God for not letting you leave peacefully, instead, you left in such torment. But maybe Mich is right, you couldn't let go too. You couldn't bear to leave us, but your time was up.
The house was especially cold and quiet after we left you for cremation.
I miss you Bret, I miss you very much. I miss hearing the clippings of your nails when you trottle around the house, I miss your snores for they have become my lullabies. I miss you resting your head on my lap. I miss the way you demand for food. I miss scratching and stroking you. I miss pillow fighting with you. I miss the angry sore loser you were. I miss looking at you using your paw as a cushion for your head. I miss looking at the way you walk, I miss you sneaking onto my bed, I miss you snuggling up next to me & I certainly miss your barks. I love your cool attitude, responding to our calls only when you feel like it. I miss the way you jump up from your sleep looking for us when the TV is turned off and you know its time for bed in the room. You would only step into the room when the aircon is turned on. I miss hugging you. I miss your complaints at the door for leaving you alone in the house. I miss your different expressions. I miss your smell. Every spot of the house has a trace of you. But all these went away with you. I no longer own any of them......
I was able to conquer my fear for darkness when I was a young gal simply because I know that you were jus next to me. Thank you Bret. Thank you for the wonderful 13 years. Thank you for all the joy you brought to me, the joy to the Seah-s. No one else can do a better job. As I promise you, I will be fine and you will always be in my heart. But for the moment, please let me bend the rules a little. As every thought of you comes with tears.
It really breaks my heart to see & touch your stiff lifeless body. I can never forget the way you died but theres so much good memories to remember you by as well.
So, Goodbye Bret. Farewell my boy. Make your way to Heaven and enjoy your new journey.
If theres ever a next life, I'll see you then.
I Love You Darling. You wll always be in my heart.
Goodbye Bret. Goodybye...
Dedicated to:
