Dear Oklahoma....

Dear Oklahoma,

It's been 12 days since I'm here. You weren't exactly nice to me but you weren't particularly bad as well.

I wanted a penthouse before we came, but I ended with a studio instead because of some irresponsible people who backed on their words. Now, I'm glad I ended in this small but cosy room with 2 of the best room-mates I could ever have. We were always looking out for each other, making sure that everyone is taken care of all the time. We stay in harmony and I simply love them both. It couldn't have been any fun without them.

Just on the second day, we were already waiting for our transport we were promised at the Wal*Mart entrance, but it never came. It was a torturous long wait of 1 1/2 Hours. In the end, we had no choice but decided to try our luck out in the open with a trolley of 2 weeks grocery, hoping we could get a taxi. We called the person in charge for help but she said theres nothing she could do. Five gals were left stranded out in the cold with the trolley out on the road junction, with weird looks by passerbys, after another 20 mins the taxi we called finally came. I was really pissed at you and your people. But after we got home, we unpacked and I was really glad that we got what we needed and everything was in place. The shopping at your huge supermarket was actually pretty pleasant.

We popped by the strip club just opposite where we lived on the third day. It felt a little weird at first, to be surrounded by naked women and hungry men, but it slowly turned out bored. We left promptly after 30 mins. I saw how men actually enjoy the cheap thrill, and also came to know that a lap dance cost 20 USD each. And... they do it on women too. I nearly got forced into paying one to do it for me but I escaped. I saved 20.

The very first module my group was arranged to take was Environmental Science. The lecturer is a nice lady but the lessons were really too boring. I fell asleep almost every single lesson(except during group work) no matter how I struggled to stay awake. But the field trips we had were wonderful. We have been to the stinkiest place, which is the sewage system but we also went to the place with one of the most beautiful scenery. The wildlife park was wonderful. Unforgetttable.

There were a total of 5 groups, 91 people, for this study trip and we were the only ones ended up being forgotten. Everyone has got their student cards and graduation gowns before hand except for my group. We ended up worrying about wearing crumpled gowns for our graduation day, and indeed it happened. We didn't get our gowns till the very day cos the Person In Charge said theres nothing she can do. Although we did ended up in wrinkled gowns, the troubles seemed to float away the moment we put on them. Everyone was helping each other with their hats, tussles and gowns. Making sure we all look our very best. We had fun taking pictures, congratulating each other, all looking smart and formal.

And it's weird that everyone has got all their past assignments back and it's only me with the missing one. Again I was told theres nothing they can do. It seems like your people can't really do much on anything.

The post graduation party at Bricktown was wild and crazy, but ironically you left me crying and pouring my heart out to my only sober friend after the partying. And of cos, we had to settle a sad, drunken friend who couldn't stop mumbling before she slowly slipped off to dreamland. Do bless her cos she deserves so much more and better.

I'm kinda broke too.. Thanks to all the fantastic shopping you have over here. 'Ross' has the cheapest and best things around. And the outlets in Dallas really burnt a hole in my pocket. Too many shops, too little time. I was rather sad when I couldn't find 'Hollister'. I knew it was there but I just can't find it. However, when I got back and took whatever I bought out, everything look so good. It's worth the money. No regrets.

The visits to the lecturers were great. Especially the one to Dr. Ellen Jane's house tonight. She really made an effort in preparing a wonderful meal for us. We were singing Christmas Carols and I just found out Elijah, the vainpot, plays great piano. Woo Hoo.. Surprise surprise. I should really learn to know people better.

You opened my eyes too. I have learned not to judge too quickly. Those who always appear to be cool, ain't that cool after all. I heard so much, and they apparently suck in many ways. Those who suck, still do suck. No matter what, I'm glad that during this trip I got to know those whom I don't really communicate with initially much much better. They apparently are rather nice people, can be fun and silly too.

Dear Oklahoma,

theres still 10 days with you. Still a long way ahead and much to learn. I look forward to it, and will stay strong. Theres really not much more to ask from you. I miss my family. So just do bless them with a wonderful Christmas this year.

BTW, thank you for the snow. Its Beautiful.

Yours Sincerely,
Jo

New York New York

I'm here in Oklahoma now as I'm writing this. Jus finished with the New York trip and this trip is like some sort of an amazing race. It was rush rush rush all the time. But we had great fun. All five of us. Karyn, Michelle, Preeya, Huiling and Moi. So many funny and silly things we have done. And so many problems along the way. In the end we conquered it all. If I were to write down the full details of this trip, think it can simply take up the whole page, so I guess i'll just highlight on a few things, which, let me remind u, is still not gonna be short.

From Singapore to Tokyo to New York. It was a long tedious flight. And I felt like a glutton, cos all we do is eat, sleep, watch video, play game, eat, sleep. Horrible, felt as if I put on a few kilos even beore i stepped into United States. We had lunch in Narita airport during transit, cos we figured out that we wouldn't be having Asian food for a long time to come. And so, we enjoyed the short Japanese meal during our 2hr stop in Japan. Finally after another 12 hours of flight, and irritating screaming kids torturing my ears, we got to NY. Karyn and Michelle was jumping up and down like shaken up coca cola when they saw the snow right outside the plane as we landed. They were like 2 children who didn't get their sweets when they realised that it had stopped snowing by the time we arrived, what we saw was actually what I would call "leftover snow". But they were still thrilled to see the snow at least.

The hostel we lived in wasn't too fantastic, nothing fancy, rather squeezy but it was good enough. The location itself beat all other things. We were just 5 mins walk away from Times Square. How cool is that?! We planned our tour to many places for each day, although in the end we accomplished maybe just about 60% of it (Most of it was due to the delays from umm..... shopping?), we had a great time. We explore this cold city with a map in hand and off we went, on foot or taking the subway. Credits to Michelle, our professional map reader. She provided all the directions due to her talent in map reading. HAha..

We saw wonderful architectures like the New York library and the St. Patrick church. I was really amazed by such detailed work from just the bare human hands. You really have to see it to feel it. We visited the Statue of Liberty as well, it was the most unforgettable and coldest trip for us. I swear I nearly lost my ears when we took the ship there. Freaking cold at the top of the ship, but we gotta see the most beautiful scenery. We even had a snow fight right in front of liberty. We saw snow and we jus started attacking each other. We were dorks... Haha.. but it was hilarious. Went to the fifth avenue too.. Lots of the rich and powerful. Limousines pass us by for like every freaking 5mins. I really suspect the people there just have clothes for lunch or dinner. We couldn't find any food at all along the way except for branded shops, and almost everyone is holding at least one shopping bag. oh! and I saw the Trump Tower. His "Trump Tower" was plated in Gold. Eww......

Hmm.. New Yorkers are practically as cold as the weather. I feel it's not racism or anything, they jus have an attitude problem. They are just being..... New Yorkers. Simple as that. If you think the service in Singapore is horrible, come to New York, then you'll know Singapore's Service ain't that bad after all. We had problems druing the trip, realised our irresponsible, stupid, idiotic, no brainer, scheming agent got Mich and me a different flight to OK. We argued wif the bitchy agent for like hours so that we can make that change without having to pay. Mich did most of the arguing, and boy! She was really good at it. In the end, we din manage to get what we wanted. We still have to take the early morning flight instead of the noon one like the rest. We were really pissed. We got up at about 4.30am to catch the flight and guess what! It jus suddenly snowed!! Now, we were really perked up and we couldnt stop looking at it. We went out with the snow falling on us. It was a wonderful feeling. We even stuck our tounges out to taste it. Preeya started with it. Eeeeeeeee..... Haha..

The trip in New York ended with the snowing and we thought it wasn't so bad after all.. It was all worth it. We forgot the the problems we had with the tix. When Mich and I got to the airport, we realised our trip was cancelled due to the snow storm. And.. we were automatically transfered to the noon flight which is the one the other 3 are taking. How nice... We nearly fainted on the spot. The noon flight is seven hours away for your information. If we were to wait, the 2 of us have to be stranded at the airport for that long. Fortunately, this kind lady at the counter (which was rare), got us tix to OK early, but we have to transit at Minneapolis. We never even heard of that place before! But we dun really have a choice.

To end this, let me tell u about the five people of this trip.

Karyn - Always nice, like a lost, curious, excited little kid in a big city. Always losing things. Doesn't know her way. Very blur.

Huiling - an auntie always on the wrong frequency. Always interpret our conversations into something that we can never understand. And shes got a really contagious laughter! A funny character. Doesn't knowe her way or even the adress of the hostel. Very very Blur.

Preeya - Always crack tickish jokes, a fun person. Blur, but compared to the above 2, shes much better lah. Haha.. at least she knows the way back.

Michelle - A PIG. Always hungry. Gets cranky when shes either tired or hungry. Always looking for food. Takes about 6 meals a day, which she says its very little compared to what she takes in Singapore. The time she wakes up is the time shes hungry.

Jolene (Me) - Always thinks she lost her stuff but finds it somewhere eventually. Took people things and slips them in the back pocket and think shes returned them in two occasions. Makes idiotic jokes.

This Party of Five Had The Best Time.

What Is This I'm Feeling?

In another few hours time, I'll be flying to US.
Boy.. Its finally here. It was just like yesterday when I first met TaiTai and Mich. We were talking non-stop about the trip like excited little girls. Now, after 1 1/2 years, it has finally arrive. So much has happened during this period, how time flies. Certain things have changed for the 3 of us, though least for taitai, but its just all so different. Especially for Mich I think, I'm more like in the middle. This trip just simply reminds me of how time can pass at the blink of an eye. Unexpected do happen without us knowing.

I feel rather weird now. Though many said, " You must be excited!!". Its really not only that. I'm excited of cos, but at the same time I'm nervous (yes, I'm having cold feet and my hands are trembling at the same time as I'm typing this), happy, sad and I'm missing my mum and dad and Bret Boy already. This is not my first trip without my family, but it just feel so different this time. 1 1/2 month without them, no mama's good food and I'm so far away... Boo hoo!!!! I'm very confident I'll be just fine in USA, and hey! We did everything for this trip on our very own! From planning to flying to the staying and the damn troublesome Visa. Everything's going as planned and it all seem so perfect now. So I'm really independent enough base on that! Haha.. ok.. Enuff of bragging.

I just feel so mixed up now.. Hmm... And one weird thing I just found out is.... I expected myself to feel a certain way for a certain thing (I can't tell you what), but it actually didn't happen. So I think its good. It's a good start. In the end, I just hope this trip is gonna do me good, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Wish Me A Safe Trip. And,
Bon Voyage To Myself!

See You People In 2006~!

Love,
Jolene

Liar Liar Pants On Fire.

Two Dramas today I watched are about lies.
One is on impulse, the other, a long plotted one.
One hurt the victim, the other, created hatred and anger.
One makes me feel its stupidity, one gives me the chills.
These tell me that lies don't last.
Cos they were all uncovered in the end.

Makes me wonder. What is considered a good enough reason for us to lie.
Theres the white lie and the lie lie.
But ain't all lies for the benefit of ourselves?
And what makes us think that the lie is a white lie, that it won't hurt the person who's hearing it.
We lie all the time, but I guess it doesn't last.
Best to keep it under covers our whole life, but life doesn't work that way.
Too many I have seen and heard.

Lies and Deceits, they make us see.
In fact, its a clearer picture once unfold.
Seen anything yet?

1 - 0

Yes Yes Yes...
I'm gonna write about the topic that everyone is talking about.
Yes Yes Yes....
I'm gonna write about Soccer.
Yes Yes Yes...
I'm gonna write about the Red Devils vs Blues.

Firstly, Woo hoo!!! Way to go Fergie! Good old Fergie, the wily old fox.
He has beaten the so called "Special One", but he didn't shut him up. I guess no one can ever shut Jose up. Unless, he loses his job i think.

I'm proud to say Manchester United has slapped Chelsea right across the face with a 1 - 0 win!
You can curse and swear at me if you want to, Blue Fans. The fact is that, you lost. Someone just needs to diminish the arrogance of this team. Look at their behaviour whenever they lost, it's jus anger and frustration but no reflection.

A friend once told me, he feels that Jose has the right to be arrogant. I agreed at first (that was when I felt traumatized and ashamed by the Middleborough n Lille performance from the Devils). But Now, after some thinking through, it's a Big "NO". Not at all!

If anyone has the right to be arrogant in the football arena, it's Alex Ferguson. Someone who started with nothing but made a club into something. And, may I remind you, for 19 years. When Fergie took over Man U, he wasn't slumped with loads of cash by some Russian billionaire and given permission to buy any player thats top-notch. When Fergie took over, there wasn't any star players to start with. Fergie made Man U a legend and last night he created a miracle. He's a Wizard. Jose sets a 4 -4 -2 formation to oppose Man U's. But alas! Who would have known, Fergie changed his plans (I guess that was in his mind before hand), it's a 4-4-1-1. With Van Nisterooy and Rooney in the middle, Fletcher and Ronaldo playing wide left and right, Smith n Scholes as center Mid-field, the defence stayed back and crossing good balls when necessary. Rooney certainly had all the space to roam freely making beautiful passes. Smith threw himself at any threatening balls thats apparent, Fletcher closed in to the opponents, tackled any ball he could, and of course scored what many would call a lucky goal. But the thing is, he scored. Thats all that mattered. In the second half, the Red Devils were indeed defending most of the time till Park arrived. I wouldn't say Man U played extremely well last night, but they did what was necessary. They played with all their hearts and souls. That was what was missing since the start of the season. And Boy, am I glad it's back, and I hope it will never go away.

When it comes to mind games, Fergie is the man. He showed his boys the tape of Kean's infamous interview, where Keane criticised the boys like a strict Father, playing the "bad guy" role. Fergie, did not. Instead, he played the loving Mother role, he didn't criticise his team nor any other opposition in the open (if you know what i mean) . He chose to encourage and it worked. The devils were woken up by the brutal reviews but also knowing that they were not given up. That, I feel is truly what made them play.

Of course, the win over Chelsea doesn't mean that Man U is invincible now. They do have problems to solve. Their ball deliveries and finish do need to be polished. Ronaldo needs to be less greedy, decrease his falls whenever he's being tackeld, do less of his dancing and concentrate on distributing quality balls. Smith can't be Roy Keane overnight, he's a striker for God's sake. Give that man a chance. He needs time to adjust, although he did a good amount of defending, as a midfielder, he will need to gain more experience and work on his vision for attacking purposes. O'shea should just stay at the back and Ferdinand needs to stop thinking about money. If your memory is working, Rio, who the hell would pay you 100 thousand pounds per week out there! Park, he's good but he just needs to work on his finish. Rooney, I have nothing against this boy except for his temper. He's a bull, push him hard and he won't move an inch, he's hardworking and he played every game with determination. He's already a world class player to me. I really can think of no one when it comes to taming this hot-headed lad except for Ferguson. He has his ways when dealing with his boys. Yes, Rooney did silly things here as well but comparing it to his Everton days, this is nothing. I can imagine how worse it could be if he were still at Everton or any other clubs. Lastly, the team needs another striker and midfield, Scholes has aged obviously and Van isn't as sharp as before. Cruel to say, but it's time for some changes, some people just needs to go. It's for the love of the club that I'm saying this.

Ok, enough of Man U. Lets talk about Jose and his blues.

If I'm not wrong, Lampard, Cole, Terry, Gudjohnsen, Makelele, Gallas plus some others were not bought by Jose. They were chosen by the previous Manager(I can't even remember his name, sorry about that). Poor guy, he just formed the team and was sacked even before the team could settle down. I really felt it was unfair. Anyway, yah. Jose didn't buy any of those. Duh... These players are now considered the best Midfield and Defence. Yes, I admit they improved under him, but hey! He wasn't the one who found them. The previous Manager wasn't given time. Who knows, maybe these players might just improve over time and experience. Jose did however made a good choice in Ferera and Del Horno, but Drogba. Com'on.. He's not that great. He's just Big and full of complaints indeed. In terms of shooting, even Lampard is better. He can practically score goals at any angle. I would even choose Crespo over that yucky gelled, oily head. And.. Look at Wright-Philips, he was brilliant during his Man City Days. Here, hmm.. Jose didn't make him better, instead, his performance seemed to be sliding. Oh! Jose you were really great in comforting yourself by saying that the margin is still wide and you have nothing to worry about. What a way to encourage your players! Hats off.. Don't think I'll be sued, cos he's probably too busy being the pacifier of Arsene Wenger, who should also shut his trap and think about what he should do if Hendrie really leaves. Of course, Jose does deserve credits to what Chelsea is today, but I would like to remind you, as the saying goes, "the ball is round". Anything can happen in the field. Look at Wigen, they are second in the table. Who would expect that?! Arsenal went 49 games unbeaten but totally broke down after a lost to Man U. Will history repeat itself? I really don't know, but I feel the next Chelsea game will tell all.

Maybe Chelsea really ain't affected at all, maybe Man U or Arsenal may catch up. Theres just too many maybes out in the field. Maybe Wigen will win the title! Kaoz... I did say the "ball is round" but I didn't say that the "World is flat"!

P.S. I caught a glismpe of Solksjear! Aww.... He's still so cute. Just a reminder that I'm a girl alright.

None of My ******* Business

I received this in my frenster message.

'
hi jolene>>>!
actually u dont know about me. im just curious coz i search on frenster...one of my favorite name... "XXXXXXX" i saw a pretty girl from her picture on this site and i want to connect with her but my problem is i cant send message to her. can u pls help me to ask her if there would be a chance 4 me to be her friend... it's just fine with me if can be friends in frenster...please??? ", anyway my name is VXX CXXXXXX MXXXX from the Philippines. here's my email ad ... VX_cXXXXX@yahoo.com thank you very much in advance jolene. pls regards me 2 her, ok?... ", thanks and take care
'
Ladies n Gentlemen.... Let me present...
"Desperate HouseMan"

As If I care. I've got better things to do pimp.
Get a maid would ya.

I Feel Weird

Was on my way home from the MRT.
A woman came standing next to me.
After a while everyone turned to our direction.
I took out my earpiece, thought maybe my MP3 was too loud.
Realised it wasn't me.
The woman next to me was reading Buddha Scriptures aloud to herself.
Put back my earpiece.
Felt a little weird suddenly, as though I have sinned.
Then found it amusing, couldn't stop smiling to myself.
While she's reading her scriptures, I'm enjoying the Hiphop blast from my MP3.
"I'll Take U To The CandyShop, Let U Lick My Lolli..." Oops!

Shan Zai......... Shan Zai................

Wednesday Night - 05 Oct' 2005

Mich Was Drunk, Jo Was Drunk, Pam Was Drunk.
Jo Was High, Mich Was High, Pam Was High.
Pam Was A Joker, Jo Was A Fool, Mich Was A Clown.
Mich Fell Down, Jo Fell Down, Pam Fell Down.
Ouch.............Ouch......... N ...........Ouch

Plus 2 Ca-Le-Fe :

Robert Almost Hit An Irritating Goblin.
Martin Was In Love With The Bin.

The End.

Summary:

We Had Silly Fun

Beautiful Bali

Wow. Just got to know that Bali, (Kuta) got bombed not too long ago.
To think that I was jus there a week ago. Had a rough week so din really have the mood to blog till now. Guess Kris n I got lucky. We were blessed.
Because, not only we got lucky, we actually had a great time there.

Yup, I promised to make this a wonderful trip for myself n tell u guys the good things about Bali, and so I did n I'm gonna share. Forget the fact that it just got bombed for the moment.

I had the time of my life, I really came back quite reluctantly n somehow couldn't really adjust myself to Singapore for now. Guess I couldn't accept the fact that I'm back here, kept wishing I'm still there. Leading the carefree life, wearing very casually, just shorts and tank tops walking sloppishly down the road and shop shop shop. Explore this nice little island, and experience new exciting things.

The people there are friendly, they luv to socialise and damn!! Their grasps for language is darn high. They could speak Japanese like its its.... chicken feet (couldn't think of other words)! Some could speak Chinese too, and of course English. No need for me to say, u should know its because of the tourists there. Mostly Caucasians and Japanese. We were mistaken as Japanese so many times or Taiwanese sometimes just because our skin is yellow. It's like no other Asians ever visits that place. Weird....

Kris n I gotta know a really nice local tour guide, Pande and so took his van for a 30min ride to Nusa Dua for the sea activites. Oh! On our way there, we stopped over at Hilton Hotel for awhile, its really beautiful. Feel like punching Paris Hilton in the face cos I can see her money all over the place surrounding me. Some people are jus so &$%#&$%#$ lucky. Ok.. this is about the trip, not some @#$&*#$. There I go again....

While we were at Nusa(no black sea for ur info),we went Paraskying, which Kris went berserk about like a kan cheong spider before taking off cos she has phobia for heights. She landed with a white face looking lost, like her soul's not there for about 15mins. (Think she will kill me if she reads this.) Then we went snorkeling, which I swear with a mouthful of the seawater, chances of contracting Kidney disease immediately shoots up! But it was a great experience lah. Got to see a few nice fishes, many but not a wide variety of them. But Boy! Were we glad to see the Rainbow fish. Its beautiful and it meant alot to us. After that, it's Turtle Island! These turtles are so so cute, despite of their sizes. Theres the super big one which i tink if he lands on me i will jus die, then theres the 2 week old babies, which are so tiny that Kris suggested that we steal them back here as pets. I got to hold the snake, the bat and the Pelican! How cool is that!

After that its shopping shopping shopping. We jus take our own sweet time lazing, strolling, buying, and enjoy. Love the shops there! They have really cool brands and unique stuff, espcially love the surf shops! About the food.... yummilicious! Cheap and Good. We came across a restaurant, 'Bubba Gump Shrimp Co.' . Concept from Forrest Gump. The atmoshphere was so lively and the food was fantastic! Couldn't ask for more. And we practically jus went mad in their retail shop. We also went to this Posh reastaurant where we ordered the platter for 2 which seems more like platter for 4! But we finished it anyway, don't ask me how. For the atmosphere and the food, u've gotta at least spend above SIN$100 each to have that here lor. But nope, we spent only about 25 bucks each. Wahaha.. Jeolous??

Oh, and we did Spa massage while watching the sunset. Unforgettable.... The massage was so shiok too that I could just fall asleep.... Zzz...

I can't tell u all everything, but this is most of it. Hope u enjoyed, cos I did.... :)

P.S. If, I'm saying IF I do go back to Bali again, I will defintely learn surfing! How can I not?!

Bali Bali, Here I Come.

Yipee ya ya yipee yipee ya. I'm gonna be at Bali on Wednesday, which is real soon..
I'm darn excited can. Ok.. I'm over reacting.. Bali is so near.......... some of u may say, but it's been so hectic these days that I dun give a damn about it. I jus wanna go there n relax. Yes, though most of the things I heard about Bali were mostly negative.. like ...

1) The sea is black
2) The sand is not white
3) Its like a beach in East Coast (just bigger)
4) Its not safe
5) Theres drugs everywhere
6) One of the highest chances of being a terrorist attack spot

Yup, above are all what I heard about Bali. Ai yoz.. where are all the good stuff about it??
I decided that I will be the one who will bring all the good things about Bali n tell it all to U people can! I dun care how much it sucks. I paid for it n I WILL enjoy!

Doesn't matter if the sea is black, It's an unsual sight can. Black sea! Woo hoo! Doesn't matter if people come appraoching us wif drugs, cos I dun take them! I'll be alert, careful, n gif whoever offers me drugs a buzz off look! or rather F off look! All of the above I will just accept it. Take it as it is n make it an experience. Even if its gonna be a bad one. I will make it the best 'bad' experience. At most I dun go Bali again lo..

I will return safely n happily.
See ya people!
Still...
Bless Us Both! Haha..

P.S. Self Psycho: Bali Is Good, Bali Is Nice, Bali Is Beautiful.
Bali Bali Bali

Broke

I'm Broke.
Throw some money at me (A few hundred at least) , I don't mind.
I'll pick it up.
Tsk tsk tsk..
Where's my dignity?
Thats how poor I am can!

On The Sur-face

Finally, I'm freed! No more bloody exams for until at least 2 months! Ok.. I have an assignment to pass up but duh! I'm not gonna touch it till at least 2 weeks later.

Really rewareded myself with shopping, having fun and sleeping for these few days! Sleep, I was so deprived of it, now, I can finally catch loads of beauty sleep all I want. The shopping part was a sinner, I'm supposed to save but i still ended up splurging. Grrr.... But I'm happy with the things I bought lah. Thats for being a woman.

Anyway, this blog is about Double O on Saturday night. Hmmm, I was practically conned to going there. Abit of a being forced?? Haha.. Cos my friend, Mr Heng, said theres gonna be R n B but alas! It was retro all night till the very pathetic last hour then the Hip Hop lor.. It's a Retro Night for Saturday. Kaoz.. I omost died, seeing older people dance (not that im young, but still...) and me trying to blend in with the crowd. I tried to enjoy myself N i eventually did cos I tink my Jap fren, Hitomi, whom im suppose to bring around did.

Before I stepped onto the dance floor and as I was feeling sulky about the music, I started to observe the people in the club. Everyone seemed so happy. They danced, they played games, they laughed, they drank like theres no tomorrow. R they really Happy? Or was it only that moment? Or.. Is it just a cover-up? I found myself to be one of the answers. I was happy during some moments, but when I stopped, hmm... It's not that I'm sad or to the stage of being depressed, just that my mind was occupied with stuff that certainly doesn't make me happy. "Why? On a night like this?", I asked myself. Ain't I suppose to be enjoying myself after the examination struggle period? When Hitomi and I headed to the ladies after some boogying, we heard cries from one of the cubicles. It was a really sad one, that girl, I didn't get to see her. But it's like I could almost feel her sorrows. She was crying over the phone to someone N yah... Really felt kinda sad for her. Come to think of it, at least at that few moments we were happy. Better than being sad all the way right?

Everyone has a story behind that face. Or should I call it SUR-face? I guess it's a matter of reading the story non repeatedly to yourself or let it go if it saddens you and move on to another book. One that makes you happy n Smile :) whenever you read it over and over again.

Anywhere Is Paradise

A friend sent me a really beautiful song. Thought I should share.
So there you go...

Anywhere Is Paradise
'
Some people wanna live in a big city street,
so crowded and noisy they can't hear their heart beats
Some wanna stay where they been a long time, others kinda like to keep moving around
But baby, I could live near or far, anywhere between here and some shooting star,
as long as I'm always where you are.

Cause anywhere is Paradise when you're with the one you love,
Anywhere is a place that's nice when you're with the one you dream of,
Anywhere is Paradise when you're with a love that's true,
There's nowhere I'd rather be baby than anywhere with you

Some people wanna be where the big money is,
some wanna be in Hollywood showbiz
Some gotta be where they know what things mean,
others just wanna be where they can be seen
Well baby, anywhere for me will do,
anywhere between here and the far up moon as long as I'm always there with you

Anywhere is Paradise when you're with the one you love,
Anywhere is a place that's nice when you're with the one you dream of,
Anywhere is Paradise when you're with a love that's true,
There's no where I'd rather be baby than anywhere with you

Your heart and mine joined together like hand and glove
We already found our forever,on earth as in heaven above
So baby, anywhere will do for me for wherever in the world we'll ever be will always be the land of love

Anywhere is Paradise when you're with the one you love,
Anywhere is twice as nice when you're with the one you dream of,
Anywhere is Paradise when nothing could be more true,
There's nowhere I'd rather be baby than anywhere with you
Anywhere with you,yeah...Anywhere with you...
'

End

May You And I Find Our Very Own Paradise
SEEKER

I Missed You

You were gone for months. I knew u were gonna come back but I still missed you in the end.
I missed the excitement you bring.
I missed the many characters you display.
I missed the beautiful skills you exhibit.
I missed the times you put me at the edge of my chair.
My weekend nights were bleak without you and it seemed aimless at times.
Nothing to look forward to.
Though I did had my fun without having to spend time on you, I still miss you so.

EPL (English Premier League)
You're coming back! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LUV YOU

*Umm... Turned off?? I din ask for you people to read this lo. But It's truly How I feel... Forgive Me? :p*

Oh! And I miss the men. Slurps.. Fabregas, You're so cute!!!
But thats not the whole point!
It's The Love of The Game.
I'll be waiting for your glamorous return.

Project Projects || Exam Exams

Darn!
Why Can't Schooling be easier?? Can't they just not give us projects n exams? Can't they just not torture us?? I'm sure schooling will be more fun without all these shit.... *shifts legs*
ok.... I'm being childish. But my exam is like next Saturday, Project is due then too. N I have one bloody Japanese Language exam on Monday. N............... I haven done any of those preparations yet. Haven't lifted a finger. Urgh... Can only blame myself. I really want to do them, but i just can't. Y is it always so damn difficult? I admit thats its laziness but damn.... The engine jus wun get started.

Just did some research earlier on, *Guess the guiltiness is working n the deadline nearing helps too* found out the product that i wanna do doesn't have much information. Not a teenie weenie helpful. No wonder it's not doing well! Idiots. Have decided to change my topic, found my way out! Screw the Beer!

I'm cursing n swearing, it's not gonna help but who cares! Just makes me feel better. I wish all these will end soon so that I can go have fun!

Yes. I'm still a kid. Never denied that.

Welcome To Sin City

Welcome to Sin City.
A City of Slaughters, Lust, Hatred, Love and Survival.
A City where everything and anything can happen.
A City of Black n White but with tinges of beautiful colors now n then.

Is it because we live in such a colorful world that we miss out the beautiful things right before our eyes? Only when the world around you falls apart and becomes colorless that a certain something becomes beautiful. Is it because it brought you hope Or is it then u realise that you missed out the beauty all along?

Everyone Sins and Sinned.
Sin for a certain someone or something.
You may feel its worthy, Others may find it stupid.
What are you fighting for?
Some cross lines without even realising it.
Some know there are lines that cannot be cross but they still chose to risk it all.

Sin City.
How Ironic.
Ain't we living in it already.

Climb! Jolene! Climb!

I have fallen into a hole so deep that I can't see whats out there. I need a pair of hands to pull me out cos im surrounded in darkness n somehow has grown use to it. I have even come to the stage of leaving this hole in reluctance. I actually hate it but I just can't leave it. So use to the darkness that even when the lights hit, its still darkness that I see. Or rather, I chose to be blind. A fren said the only way to free myself, is to climb out of the deep dark hole on my own. She said that if there ever was a pair of hands, I'll be dependent on them n it's unfair to hold them just to save myself. Shes absolutely right. Smack! Truth n Fact right in my face.

Do we need any truth at all if theres no lies? It will only be a fact. On the condition that theres no lie. If theres no lies, theres no need for any truth at all. Don't you think? Confusing? The bottom line is, I dug the hole myself, I lied to myself n practically burying myself. Time to burst the bubble.

Move on Jo, Get over it.
Attach -> Detach -> Be Free -> Be Happy.
My Goal for now.
Though I'm now still in Stage 2, I'll play this mind game against the biggest challenge. ME. I'll get to the very last stage. I know I can do this! If You can do it, I can too! I promised n I will definitely keep it.
:)

Someone Slip Me A Sleeping Pill

Can someone please slip me a sleeping pill or simply just knock me out unconscious???
I'm darn tired but I jus can't get to sleep. Its been a week. Argh!! Irritating. Don't ask me why. I really don't know.
My mind jus wun stop working n get to sleep. Always tossing n turning. Help...
Things hasn't been great for anyone around me n myself.
Wondering when will the moment come where we can really be happy all over again.

Gonna try my luck N Zzzzzzzzz....

Wish me luck people. Argh.. This is a stupid blog post.
And I'm NOT Sorry about it.
Phat!

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Friday Night:

A Nite of Dancing
A Nite of Cuties
A Nite of Satisfied Craves
A Nite of Fun

What More Can We Ask For From A Night Like This?

Saturday:

Boom!
Back To Reality
Back To Work
Back To Earth
Slog....

PS:
*I'm Gonna Try To Take A Ride In The Van*
&Those Who Know What I'm Toking About. (Smiling To Yourselves??)
&Those Who Don't Know What Im Toking About. (Not My Fault. U Missed The Fun. Kick Urselves)

It's Been Long

These few weeks has been crazy. It's a vigorous roller coaster ride. I felt stress, sadness, a little bit of happiness all on me during the past month. Not only me, even the people around me are going through a hard time. Breakups, Career decisions, Quarrels. It's insane. I hate this! And I wish it'll stop!

For the past month, most of us are busy with classes and stressed over the Graduation Project. Though its very last minute work, but I can tell u it had always been at the back of our minds. N that made us unhappy. Now, its finally over, it felt like heaven. Thats the little bit of happiness I was talking about. It was short. Beginning of May I was going through this emotion drama thing and at the end of the month it was Mich. We both hated May. It sucked. It's a horrible month for us. Too emotional.

Now, Grams is sick in the hospital with 4th stage cancer. Totally unexpected, no signs at all. Even if i expected cancer, I din expect it to be at such a late stage. I just cried alone in the hospital feeling down, lonely n helpless after the Doc broke the news. Haven't felt this sad for a long time. So many things just kept running in my mind and when it does, I become emotional.

I can't take this anymore. When can I ever jump out of this ride? This ride that has been going for so long with no destination. Please stop torturing me. Let me go.

Questions N Answers

We all have questions, but it is the answers that matter most.

Situation 1:
Questions with no emotions attached to them just make us smarter. Usually, these questions are asked because we just don't know. The only effect it has on us is that it increases our knowledge. Thats about it.

Situation 2:
Emotions attached. Usually, these questions comes with hopeful answers. We need answers that we WANT. If its not what we hope it to be, depending on our individual characters, answers can makes us feel
1) Sad
2) Dissappointed
3) Regretful
4) Hurt
5) Stronger
6) Happier

Asking a question can be torturous. Some of us just lack the courage to ask. The question can be in you for an aching long time but we just cannot face the answer. Hopeful but Timid. These are the people who think alot about the consequences of their questions being asked. They fear how the question may reflect on how people see them. They fear how the situation can change their relationship with the person they're gonna ask. They fear they may lose what they currently have. I won't say these people are losers. Think about the pain they go through for not asking, the sleepless nights they go thru for not asking, the suppression of feelings for not asking, the lingering of the question in their minds for not asking, the depression they suffer for not asking. You are trying your very best to escape reality. Anticipation alone is enough to kill. Imagine the tolerance to all this shit. You may even lose yourself n be persistant just for an unanswered question. This, is never easy.

Example -
The question can be as simple as asking for the money that is rightfully yours . How many times have you felt uneasy whenever you ask for the money your fren borrowed from you some time ago? I'm sure many of you have came across that. I, myself have experienced that many times.

The Answer -
This is the essence to all. It means everything to you. It points the way for you to proceed in future. Of cos, needless to say, if its the answer that you have longed for, it will only make u Happy. If its not, it sucks big time. You may regret that you even asked. You were once hopeful but the answer can simply jus throw you to the lowest of the lowest.
It's like a boxing match. You are given a hard blow by your opponent with no sympathy. You become semi-conscious and you know you can't fight back at that point. To protect yourself, there will only be 2 reactions from you. You either swing your arms around so that your opponent cannot advance and knock you out, but you may hurt the innocent referee in the process OR you feign unconsciousness to save your pride cos you know theres no way you can win. So which are you?


I admire the people who actually participated for the match even though they are unsure. It's a big risk. As the saying goes "You never know Till you find out". Thats for those who look on the bright side. Some questions are best left unquestioned. So where do we go from here? Go for another match with a new opponent or never step into the ring ever again?

My unquestioned question has just been secretly answered. It's time for me to move on and SEEK for another worthy opponent. Care to join my journey of Seeking?

Woa! Hell of An Experience!

Had quite a party on Wednesday night. Guess U people can read all about it in Mich's Blog.
I Had many First Time Experiences throughout the night:

First time I party wif people of a different race. Honestly, I was at first quite shock n dissapointed when I found out Mich n me were the only Chinese there. (All the other classmates jus din appear, duh....) I was so worried we can't click wif them at all. But we decided that since we are there n we paid, we are gonna enjoy no matter what!

First time I had eaten such great tasting BBQ Chicken Wings. Mmm.... Fingers Licking Good. Preeya! Good Job! Credits to you.

First time I'm exposed to so much Tamil Music. There was a good mix of R n B too! Great music, but Rajeee, the Tamil abit too much lah. Need a liitle bit more balance. :p

First time I learnt n did the Indian dance. I swear its the most tiring dance of all! Mich n I nearly died, panting like shit n we sweat like pigs. The people there are easy to get along wif n its jus fun fun fun. They have the energy to dance all night! *Hats off to You Guys*

First time I learnt dance steps from a few Indian frens. They are damn good k! R n B is nothing to them! Rajeeeeeeeeeee (My classmate who was one of the Hosts), Woo Hoo!! He's the dancing King. He taught me a few hip hop steps but i forgot them oready. haha... Only remembered he told me to let loose n be arrogant!

First time I fed so many cats! N they were so close to me. Use to be scared n dislike them, but not anymore. Rajeeeee gave us some knowledge on cats.

First time I saw the Sun Rise. But it was quite a dissapointing one. I din see the sun. The sky just got brighter. Grrr..... It was still quite a scene though. Thanks Mich, for willing to stay on n thong wif me till the day got brighter! N I'm glad we did!

First Time I witness a fierce long fight involving so many friends. Scary... We didn't know wats going on, so we thought its best that we stay out n then sneak out? :p

Lastly, First time I felt so comfortable wif so many Indians around me. I'm not being offensive, Just that I'm glad I went N I felt its One great experience. We chatted, we joked n we danced! That day was a day I truly truly felt colour didn't matter.

[Scenerio]
I thought about the night n an idea struck me. What if my other frens were in Michelle's Shoes? They go to the party wif me n I urged them to stay till I see the sunrise. I decided to put a few frens into the scenerio. Just for laughs, so dun be offended ya.

Rynn - [When we just arrive scene] First thing she will say is " Wah Lau a....., Jolene" Will kao bei n complain the whole night but she will still mix n blend wif the people cos nothing matters to her. [Ask to watch Sunrise Scene] "Watch wat sunrise.." n she will go to the Chalet room n sleep till I kick her ass to wake her up.

Bell - [When we just arrive scene] First thing she will do is laugh! N then she will tell me that Ryan gonna fetch her after an hour. [Ask to watch Sunrise Scene] Don't even think about asking her! Waste breathe.

Shimei - [When we just arrive scene] Will secretly say that we are the oni 2 Chinese, shy but still stay on till I make the decision to leave. Will stick wif me all the time n I have to take the initiative to mix around wif the people n bring her in. [Ask to watch Sunrise Scene] She will definitely wanna watch wif me! We are people who appreciates such things :) But she will fall asleep while waiting (her eyes get tired easily).

Karyn - [When we just arrive scene] Will secretly say that we are the oni 2 Chinese, feel awkward. She will tell me why the other class people din come [Ask to watch Sunrise Scene] N then " hee hee hee...... I got tuition tomorrow. Later going to Martin's House to stay over."

Kristen - [When we just arrive scene] Gif me a "What did U bring me into" glare, and Leave Immediately!
hahaha....

[The End]

*The above scenerio IS oni my own imagination, real situation may differ*

Thanks Preeya n Raj! I enjoyed.
N Michelle Lee Siong Kit, we got lost because of you k! But that makes it fair I guess. I was responsible for Holland V. haha..

It's A Sucky Day

Urgh! Feel damn bloody sucky today.
Trip to work was sucky, Work was sucky, Trip back home still sucky!
My mood is a 180 degree change in like just 24 hours!
Friday, I was happily shopping n Saturday, I oready feel like shit. N for your information, its not PMS!

Trip To Work:

Sometimes, I really hate kids. They are irritating monsters that you can't do anything about! This stupid boy kips hanging, swinging, screaming happily away in front of me in the MRT throughout the whole trip! How I wish I can give him one bloody hard kick n send him to the other end of the MRT screaming(but in pain)! Wahahaha.......... But of cos i cant lah.

Trip Back Home:

The bus ride - Old Auntie came sitting beside me. Its alrite, I dun have anything against old people. But But... Why must kip jabbing me with your elbow while searching for your stuff! Jab, Jab Jab, Jab Jab Jab. And I still can't do anything about it! I walk away. Spare myself the agony.

The Mrt - Its fine that you are fat, but being fat n selfish sucks BIG time. The MRT is crowded enough already, I need a seat real badly after a tiring day. And this fat char bor, si bei buay zi dong. Reading CLEO, with her food n dunno whatever taking up the seat beside her. Kaoz! U fat #%&#$%#*$&! To vent my frustration, here's a pic of her. Si nu ren...



Ok! I feel much better! Sorry You Chose To Read My Shit!
Goodbye!

What A Fall!

Hmm.....
How do i actually start this?
It all happened about a week ago... I chatted with my fren, Rynn, telling her how much I actually need a guy right now. Being single for my whole life was getting on the nerves of me, I felt lonely and I really need this guy to help me forget someone as well. N so I told her, "You know what? If theres any guy whom I think is alrite, I think I will just jump into it. Can't take it anymore"
And miracurously, it did happen.
A guy really came along. He's cute (no doubt about that), he's gentlemanly, the first date wasn't too bad and he meets quite a few of my requirements. eg, no siblings. I know it sounds stupid, but trust me, siblings are simply a hassle. And if i'm not being oversensitive, he did drop hints on you know what. It got me into a dilema. And so I consult my best frens Bell and Rynn, on what I should do or what they think during our blading trip jus last Friday. They encouraged me to go for it. Rynn reminded me "You said yourself if you find any guy thats alrite you will jump into it what. So why the dilema?!" I couldn't answer her. And the next thing I know, being the lousy bladder I am, I actually fell awkwardly and may I say awfully as well. It's Horrible! I thought I fractured my bone to be honest.
This fall kept me at home and kept me thinking through a few things.
It is then I realised:

1) I just can't accept just anyone. It was just speech on impulse. That 'anyone' has to be special.
2) That someone I hoped could be there when I fell, can't be there and will never be there.
3) The person never loved me back, so why waste the brain cells, heartaches and some sleepless nights.
4) I felt happier, less obligated and less stressful when the "cute guy" didn't call. He's just not for me.
5) I'm glad that I have Rynn n Bell, my 2 great frens n I love them dearly. Thanks Gals! Thanks for always being there for me.
6) It's a little cliche but I'm still gonna say it. I can be just as happy alone. No....., not alone, with just all my frens.
:) Love ya People! And
Hail To Singlehood!!

Time Flies

Wow! Can't believe this.
The last time i fiddled with this thing was like 6 months ago.
Its seems to be a long time but it feels damn short.
I'm gonna revamp this! Make It look like no other!
Thats when i have the time..
Patience my frens.
I promise it's not gonna be another 6 months.